It’s been a long time since I blogged on a regular basis. This morning’s post was rather impulsive and then felt so good – like taking the sweaters & fleece out of the attic at the first frost. Mmmm. So here we go again!
It’s holiday-plan-making time around here.
[Stressful.]
The girls are way off their schedule as far as visits with their father are concerned. Last year, post-financial crisis, plane fares made Thanksgiving financially unfeasible. This year, baby-due-dates make Christmas impossible. (Step-mom is due on 12/23). This means I get 2 years in a row of both holidays. [do not bother cleaning out your ears -- there simply are no complaints that you are not hearing].
My parents are only 2+ hours away. But we differ on the religious front, so when it comes to the “Christian” holidays, we’ve tried to keep a little distance. First, it was because my parents had a hard time with our differences, and now it’s because I feel slightly rude showing up and souring their praise & worship with my unbelief.
Even without the spiritual thrown in the mix — we like to have our time at home. We don’t want every single holiday to be spent traveling and dealing with the trials and tribulations of extended-family dynamics. We love our home, and our smaller family, and the traditions that we have developed of our own.
But Thanksgiving is not a religious-based holiday.
I come from a larger extended family. We always had huge family gatherings for Thanksgiving. My mother is one of 8, and when her mother was alive and living in the same state, we ALL got together. Things changed over the years, and the size of the crowd has steadily dwindled – kids grew up and moved away, grandparents passed away, family arguments became fractious (not including my immediately family, fortunately). And for a while, I really didn’t miss the bigger holiday gathering. It was a relief.
But in the past few years, I find that I feel lonely on Thanksgiving when it’s just the 4 of us. Our friends aren’t around – they’re with their larger families. And a turkey is really big when you’re only feeding 4. And it feels kinda … well, like I said … lonely.
Worse are the years that the girls are with their father in another state. D and I have tried a few different things to make the holiday special for us. We’ve cooked nice dinners and watched movies, we’ve gone out, we’ve done giant movie-marathons-eating-in-bed lazy days. Turns out (perhaps to D’s dismay) the lazier non-traditional options leave me feeling hollow. I like the holidays! I like the fun meals and the special-ness of it all.
[My true dream is to spend the non-kid holidays traveling abroad, just D and I. But I can't afford that. Yet. If ever.]
So this year, we’re going to visit with my parents for Thanskgiving. The kids are kicking a little bit, they often find traveling on holidays wearisome and vote to stay home. But I’m elbowing in and making my preferences known, with a true Mom-voice – the loudest and most authoritative of all. And they will have fun, as they always do. My mother and I are making plans that will include my cousins (many of whom are my girls’ ages), and it will be a fun time for them.
I haven’t started to address Christmas yet …
